We’ve all been sold a massive lie, my friends: the idea that financial success (and other forms of success, frankly) is tied to abnormally high levels of self-control and discipline.

The logic is compelling: If you could just work a little harder, be a little more disciplined, and exercise a little more self-control, all your dreams would come true. We hear it about everything from our fitness goals to our financial goals:

In a way, it feels objectively fair—if someone works harder, they should achieve more.

Willpower! Self-control! Discipline! They’re morally upstanding traits our parents tried to ingrain in us with weekly chore lists and sides of stringy green beans with dinner. Before long, we start to subtly (or not-so-subtly) buy into this meritocracy messaging: that if we want to achieve great things or experience success, it has to feel like work. A healthy body, an overflowing bank account, an amazing job…surely these aspects of Adulting Porn are only available to those with the self-control and work ethic to arduously strive for them, right?

Here’s my hot take:

The people with everything from the bodies you want to the lifestyles you desire, and even the jobs you envy, are not more disciplined than you are—they’ve just found approaches they enjoy. They like what they do.

Keep reading to find out why “enjoyment” and “obsession” will get you further than self-control.

Every once in a while, I like to do a “solo deep dive” episode all about the tactical stuff.

This episode is a logistical examination of how to put systems in place that help you balance your short-term and long-term spending goals—after all, “saving” is really just another name for “deferred spending,” and the ideal scenario we’d find ourselves in is one in which the money we need is available to us whenever we need it.

It’s my hope that after listening, you’ll have a solid understanding of how to structure all of your saving and investing and—most importantly—eliminate the fear that you’re “missing something.”

Listen now on your favorite podcast player or catch the episode on YouTube! And if you have any questions, leave ’em in the YT comments and I’ll do my best to respond.

This Reel about what neuroscience, Buddhism, and stoicism have in common: They've all figured out "pleasure" is not "happiness." Made me think twice about how willing I am to pay for convenience and if that's misguided.

The comments section of this Wall Street Journal article about the pay gap. Who knew so many biological determinists read WSJ? I made the mistake of venturing there before having my coffee...won't do that again.

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I think any Type A person who’s ever been on vacation can tell you: The first couple days of PTO are actually more disorienting than relaxing, simply because it takes a minute to settle into a new routine.

Routines anchor us to reality. They enable us to show up more fully in our daily lives, because they provide structure and scaffolding in our day around which we can build.

The true value of a routine of any kind is that it takes the guesswork out of our decision-making. Indulge me in a ridiculous example:

Let’s say—hypothetically!—I use one of those pastel-colored, adorably named Tinkle razors to scrape the peach fuzz off my face every so often. (Purely hypothetical!)

Let’s examine two ways of incorporating this into my beauty routine:

• Eyeball facial peach fuzz every few days, wondering intermittently if it’s time yet. Can I see the hair on my face? I don’t know. Kind of? Should I do it today? I don’t know. Maybe. When was the last time I did this again? Is it time? Ugh, I guess it’s kind of grown back. Is that a zit? Maybe shaving would help. Or maybe it would make it worse. I don’t know! (Play this incessant waffling on a loop. This is your brain without routine.)
• Apply the Tinkle razor routinely every other Sunday on a predetermined cadence. Never think about it otherwise.

Notice how much less decision fatigue is involved in the second option?

Absurd beauty regimen examples aside, keep reading to learn how installing simple routines can alleviate financial anxiety.

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